It’s been easy for me fall into automatic patterns of fixating on others, judging them, and trying to fix their problems.

It feels easy to hide in the comfort of my own protection.

Allowing with love to feel what’s real.

Looking inside for my guide.

I wanted to belong and connect with others, but I didn't know how.

For as long as I can remember, I have chased a good time - for the thrill of feeling alive, to wake up my soul, and to run from the pain I’ve carried since childhood.

I open myself to the unknown.

Fall is a season of letting go and releasing what is no longer needed.

It is easy to be distracted by the end goal, whether it is so appealing we lose sight of what is right in front of us or it is too daunting for us to move. But it is the only way forward.

I recently received some feedback that triggered me. I was open to receiving feedback, as I typically am, and most of it involved praise and gratitude. But when some criticisms didn’t match what I agreed with, I immediately got defensive, shifted from a state of curiosity to righteousness, and eventually dismissed the critical feedback altogether.

From a young age, I was taught how to act in public, how to be polite, how to learn, and how to work. These were important lessons as the bases for many of our social constructs such as civility, order, education, and commerce. But, these lessons seemed to be aimed at serving a “greater good” predetermined by people other than me, for me without my input.

A reawakening is often caused by an external event that shakes things up so significantly that what’s most important immediately comes into focus. Once we see what’s beneath the surface, everything changes.

This is often such a difficult question to answer. Maybe it is because we don’t ask ourselves the question often enough to know the answer.